Definition Of Stupid

Customer On Phone: "So what makes Liquor Superstores so, well, super?"
Manager: "Well there's our lowest liquor price guarantee."
Customer On Phone: "Lowest Liquor Price Guarantee?"

Is he thick? He's managed to dial the number and construct a sentence so what the fook is so hard to understand about those four words?

But actually the manager goes on to say that they'll guarantee the lowest price on only certain products. Ah ha. Here's the catch. Good job thickie customer actually asked that question otherwise the manager wouldn't have been able to qualify the small print behind this seemingly unbelieveable offer.

It's mindless and repetative. It drives you nuts just listening to it. It's mock-up situation that makes you cringe and reach for the CD button. Why do people do this to us? Alcohol is fun and enjoyable - I don't want to be tormented into a shop just to save me some pennies.

We can see through the loss-leader scam - in fact, you've managed to spend an entire advert telling us that this is what you're doing. They mumble some other info about largest choice under one roof only for you to be stung when you get inside the store with mark-ups on everything else.

Okay, so it's nothing new...but crikey, Coles should be able to do better with their advertising. After all, it's CHEAP BOOZE FOR GODS SAKE. How hard can that be to come up with something inspirational?

I always said that when I die, if I go to Hell, I'll find myself crammed in a lift, stuck between floors, with too many people listening to the greatest hits of Tito Puento over the lift tannoy system. I now know that his songs will be interrupted by a stream of poorly thought through radio adverts....